Apostle John’s Three Letters . . . 3 John 9–14

   Brotherly Love

Who comes first when we insist on having our own way — Christ or ourselves? In 3 John 9–14, the apostle draws a sharp contrast between Diotrephes, who loved to be first and shut others out, and Demetrius, whose life bore a good testimony. Between these two examples stands a simple but searching command: imitate what is good, not what is evil. As John closes his letter with the hope of a face-to-face visit, he leaves us considering more than the conduct of two men. He challenges us to examine our own example: Are we helping others walk in the truth, or allowing our desire for prominence to get in the way?

Third John is a deeply personal letter addressed to “the beloved Gaius.” In our previous session, we saw John’s joy over Gaius’ faithfulness and his loving hospitality toward traveling Christian workers — even those he hadn’t known personally. As we come to our closing session, we move from John’s commendation of that hospitality to his warning about a man who opposed it.

The letter presents a striking contrast between two ways of treating others. Gaius demonstrated Christian love by welcoming and supporting those who served for the sake of Christ’s name. Diotrephes, however, sought first place, rejected John’s authority, and refused to welcome the brothers. Their conduct brings the letter’s practical concern into focus: Walking in the truth must shape not only what we believe, but also how we treat others.

Hospitality is more than opening our homes; it’s an opportunity to participate in the work of the gospel. John reminds Gaius — and believers today — that supporting faithful Christian workers makes us fellow workers for the truth. Those who provide welcome and practical help share in the ministry of those who go out.

Sadly, not everyone followed Gaius’ example. Diotrephes loved to be first. John reports that Diotrephes spread malicious accusations against him, refused to welcome the traveling brothers, and hindered those who wanted to receive them — even putting them out of the church. His behavior shows how the desire for prominence can turn a place of fellowship into a place of exclusion.

In contrast, John commends Demetrius, who had a good testimony from everyone, from the truth itself, and from John and his companions. Although the letter does not identify his precise role, his commendation provides a positive example alongside the warning about Diotrephes. John then closes by expressing his hope to visit Gaius soon and speak face to face—a personal conclusion to a letter concerned with truth, love, and our treatment of fellow believers.

Diotrephes, Condemned (3 John 9–10)

In last week’s discussion, we saw a positive example of brotherly love in Gaius’s commendable behavior. He welcomed and supported traveling Christian workers, including those he hadn’t previously known. Today’s passage presents a negative contrast: Diotrephes’s contemptible behavior. Rather than welcoming fellow workers, he shut them out — and opposed those who wanted to receive them.

These two verses provide the Bible’s only account of Diotrephes. John introduces him with a revealing description: he “loves to be first.” The problem was not simply that he exercised influence, but that he wanted preeminence. His desire for first place expressed itself in his rejection of John and his mistreatment of fellow believers. Diotrephes’s behavior was seemingly self-centered, domineering, and controlling.

John identifies several connected offenses. Diotrephes wouldn’t welcome him; he spread malicious accusations about him and his companions; he refused to welcome the traveling brothers; and he obstructed those who wanted to receive them, even putting them out of the church. His opposition extended beyond refusing hospitality himself: He sought to prevent others from offering it.

The passage doesn’t identify Diotrephes’s formal office. Whatever position he held, he exercised considerable influence over the congregation. John’s concern, however, is his conduct rather than his title. Diotrephes used that influence to exclude fellow believers instead of encouraging their service. His example warns us that a desire for prominence can undermine the fellowship and hospitality that Christian love should produce.

And, Diotrephes’s words were equally destructive. John describes him as “spreading malicious nonsense about us. Not satisfied with that, he even refuses to welcome other believers. He also stops those who want to do so and puts them out of the church” This wasn’t harmless chatter or a simple difference of opinion. It was malicious speech directed against John and those associated with him. John therefore intended to call attention to his behavior when he came. Love for the church didn’t require overlooking conduct that harmed its fellowship and hindered its welcome of fellow workers.

Pastor Ralph F. Wilson aptly describes Diotrephes as “the poster-child for an unloving Christian,” adding, “He is selfish, manipulative, and domineering. He does not love as does Gaius.” The contrast brings the passage home to us: Christian love welcomes and supports faithful servants of Christ; self-seeking pride treats them as unwelcome rivals.

Demetrius, Commended (3 John 11–12)

After exposing Diotrephes’s harmful behavior, John directs Gaius toward a better example. His counsel is simple but searching: Do not imitate evil; imitate good. Against the background of Diotrephes’s self-seeking conduct, John introduces Demetrius — a man whose good reputation provides a positive example to follow.

John’s affectionate address, “Dear friend,” gives warmth to this direct appeal. Gaius mustn’t allow the evil example described in the preceding verses to determine his own conduct. John calls him to follow what’s good, making righteousness — not personality, prominence, or power — the standard by which he chooses his examples.

Every believer must consider whose example is shaping his or her life. John doesn’t treat imitation as morally neutral. His words connect conduct with a person’s relationship to God: “Anyone who does what is good is from God. Anyone who does what is evil has not seen God.” Good conduct doesn’t purchase a relationship with God; rather, John presents it as evidence of belonging to him. His warning also makes clear that evil behavior can’t be dismissed as spiritually insignificant.

Wilson understands this appeal as a call for Gaius to choose between the evil example of Diotrephes and a good example — probably Demetrius, whom John commends next, or perhaps John himself. Wilson emphasizes that the choice concerns righteousness and unrighteousness rather than personalities or power. This helps us see the practical force of John’s instruction: Gaius must continue doing what’s right rather than conform to an influential person’s wrongdoing.

John then turns to Demetrius, whose commendation stands in sharp contrast to the charges against Diotrephes. Three witnesses support his good reputation:

  1. “Everyone” speaks well of him. Demetrius has a good reputation among those who know him.
  2. “The truth itself” bears witness to him. His life agrees with the truth he professes; his conduct supports rather than contradicts his confession.
  3. John and those associated with him also testify on his behalf. John adds his own endorsement and assures Gaius that their testimony is true.

Who was Demetrius? John doesn’t specify his office or assignment. He may have been a traveling Christian worker and may have carried this letter to Gaius. In that case, John’s commendation would also serve as a recommendation that Gaius welcome and assist him. These are reasonable possibilities in a letter concerned with hospitality, but they remain inferences rather than explicit statements.

What John does make clear is that Demetrius is worthy of commendation. His reputation, his agreement with the truth, and John’s testimony point in the same direction. The application is searching: Do our conduct and confession agree? Are we following — and becoming — examples that encourage others to do what’s good?

In Closing... (3 John 13–15)

Much as he does at the close of Second John, the elder ends this letter by expressing his preference for a personal visit rather than further correspondence. He has more to communicate, but hopes to speak with Gaius face to face. His closing reminds us that written words, valuable as they are, don’t replace the personal fellowship he desires.

Although John the elder has addressed contention and conflict, his final words express his heartfelt desire for peace. His “Peace to you” is a fitting benediction for Gaius after the troubling account of Diotrephes’s conduct. John doesn’t withdraw his warning or ignore that man’s wrongdoing. Instead, he concludes with a blessing and an affirmation of fellowship.

The exchange of greetings adds warmth to the farewell. John calls the believers “friends” and asks Gaius to greet those with him “by name.” That personal detail deserves our attention. His concern isn’t merely for a congregation collectively, but for the individuals who belong to it. Christian fellowship finds expression in recognizing, welcoming, and caring for particular people.

As we conclude Third John and our study of John’s three letters, three lessons from this brief epistle deserve continued reflection:

  1. Support faithful workers for the truth. Gaius’ hospitality demonstrates how believers can share in gospel ministry by welcoming and helping those who go out for the sake of Christ’s name (vv. 5–8).
  2. Reject self-seeking conduct. Diotrephes’s desire to be first led him to oppose John, refuse hospitality, and exclude those who wished to welcome the brothers (vv. 9–10).
  3. Imitate what’s good. John directs Gaius away from evil and commends Demetrius, whose good testimony agrees with the truth he professes (vv. 11–12).

What a personal letter John wrote to his beloved friend — and what searching instruction it continues to give us. Walking in the truth involves more than affirming correct beliefs. In this letter, it becomes visible through faithful service, generous hospitality, and a willingness to support others rather than seek first place for ourselves. Gaius provides an encouraging example; Diotrephes supplies a sobering warning; and Demetrius receives a commendation worth aspiring to.

John’s farewell leaves us with the prospect of face-to-face fellowship, a blessing of peace, and greetings offered by name. May our churches and homes reflect that same personal care as we welcome and support faithful servants of Christ.

Closing Prayer

† Summary and Key Points of 3 John 9–15

John contrasts the self-seeking conduct of Diotrephes with the good testimony of Demetrius. Diotrephes loves to be first: He rejects John, spreads malicious accusations, refuses to welcome traveling believers, and puts out of the church those who wish to receive them. John promises to address this conduct and urges Gaius to imitate good rather than evil. He then commends Demetrius, whose reputation is supported by others, by the truth itself, and by John’s own testimony. The letter closes with John’s hope for a face-to-face visit, a blessing of peace, and personal greetings to the friends by name.

•  Humility rather than self-importance: Diotrephes’s desire for first place shows how personal ambition can damage Christian fellowship and hinder the service of others (vv. 9–10).

•  Hospitality rather than exclusion: Refusing to welcome faithful Christian workers — and opposing those who would help them — contradicts the loving support John encourages throughout the letter (vv. 9– see also vv. 5–8).

•  Good examples worth following: John calls Gaius to imitate what’s good, reminding him that conduct reveals something essential about a person’s relationship with God (v. 11).

•  A reputation consistent with the truth: Demetrius receives a threefold commendation — from everyone, from the truth itself, and from John and his companions. His example underscores the importance of agreement between professed faith and daily conduct (v. 12).

•  Peace and personal fellowship: John’s desire to speak face to face, his blessing of peace, and his request to greet friends by name bring the letter to a warm, personal close (vv. 13–15).

---

---